Overcome Imposter Syndrome as a Speaker & Leader - Must Have Success Strategies
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Do you struggle with imposter syndrome?
Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough in a job or in your personal relations?
Maybe you've just levelled up in your business or in your personal life, maybe you started dating, or maybe you are taking your career to the next level and…
... you're feeling like You’re Not Enough!
Imposter syndrome is feeling that you're not good enough. It is that feeling of ‘if people were to discover my “truth”, they'll realise that I’m not all that I say I am, I’m not enough.”
It’s that feeling that you are an imposter in your role, in your body or just in who you are.
This is really difficult to face everyday, and I have definitely been there.
I want you to know that imposter syndrome is very common.
You are not alone. It is something that we have all faced at some point in our life, and therefore,
YOU CAN OVERCOME IT!
So, how do we overcome this feeling and these thoughts? Here are my Top 3 Pro Tips and read until the end for my Golden Strategy.
PRO TIP #1
Know Your Values
Tip number one on how to overcome imposter syndrome is... Know Your Values.
As Katie Perry explains, “If you don't stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.”
The fact is, it's really difficult for you to feel confident in yourself, knowing that you are enough, if you don't know what you stand for. Values aren't just things that you know. Values aren't just things that you do. Values are things that you feel.
So, if you value, let's say “adventure”. You might do more adventurous things and so you know you value adventure, but at the end of the day, you actually value the feeling of adrenaline, the feeling of excitement, the love of variety.
So, I invite you to get really clear on your values. What do you stand for? What are the feelings you would want to feel? What are the benchmarks you have for yourself in your communication with other people, for example.
Over the years, I’ve created what I call my Four Cornerstones of Value Success, and I want to share one of my cornerstones with you right now to give you more context about what values are.
So, I call this cornerstone value “Interaction Values”. If you're interacting with another person, whether it's business or personal, ask yourself...
How do I want to feel when I interact?
How do I want them to feel when I interact with them?
How do I want to show up?
What are my ‘benchmarks for being’ in this interaction?
If you don't have these, it's very easy to fall below your potential every single day. You need to have clear values that you connect to on the daily. For example, a clear interaction value could be engaged.
When you're having a conversation, you always want to be present. You always want to keep general eye contact and look in their direction as you listen. You always want to be engaged in keeping rapport, truly being there with them. Those can be some of your benchmarks.
When you fall under those benchmarks, you will realize you weren't living in alignment. That is what's going to build your feeling that you are enough. The feeling that you don't have imposter syndrome because if you know how to show up every day in conversation, you know that you are enough. You are trying your best to be as engaged as you can be and even if you aren’t doing that “perfectly” every day, you know what you stand for.
Other interaction values could be positive.
It could be inspiring.
It could be focused.
It could be integrity.
It could be trust.
It could be anything else that you choose. So, take some time to think about what your three interaction values are. How do you want to feel? What are your benchmarks for conversation.
Three separate words, this is the magic number Reflect on other areas of your life and how you can live into your values also.
If you want more support about this, you're welcome to reach out to me at www.jodydontje.com/connect.
So yes, that’s my pro tip #1, Know Your Values. Know what you stand for and imposter syndrome won't take over as much.
PRO TIP #2
Have a Contribution Mindset
My Pro Tip number two is to make sure that you have what I call a ‘Contribution Mindset’.
Now, you might have heard this from me before, but I want to reinforce it again. It's really difficult to feel like you're an imposter if you're genuinely giving. If you're genuinely making a difference. If you're genuinely showing up with the best intentions to help other people, with healthy boundaries of course.
When you have a contribution mindset, this means every single day you realize you're valuable because you are willing to contribute and make a difference. You can build that feeling that you are enough through witnessing yourself giving and contributing.
Whether it’s in your business, in your workplace, in your relationships, or just in general, how are you contributing and really making that difference?
When you shift your mindset from “Me, me, me!”, “Am I enough?” and “I have imposter syndrome”, into “How can I serve today? How can I give today? How can I add value today? How can I make a difference today?”. That shift is really going to build more belief in yourself and of your value.
Years ago, I was drenched in self-conscious tendencies, I was drenched in low self-esteem. It was through volunteering in many organisations, starting my own non-profit platform, and helping charities in Nepal to make a difference that I truly realised I have value to give. It was through contribution that I realised, “Actually, I do have some value in this world.”
Since then, I have now been able to develop a deep sense of “I'm enough”, even if I'm not giving, just me myself, I'm enough. Sometimes it first starts with being able to contribute and see our value of giving until we can fully internalise that we're enough just as we are.
You are enough!
PRO TIP #3
Celebrate Your Wins
My Pro Tip number three is to make sure that you celebrate your wins.
You are a high performer. I support high performers like you from all around the world to level up with their confidence in speaking and being a leader. This includes overcoming imposter syndrome. In order for you to overcome imposter syndrome as a leader and speaker, you need to be able to create space for yourself to stop, re-evaluate how you've been progressing, and celebrate your wins!
Celebrate every single day. Celebrate your wins with others and feel your wins. How are you going to feel like you're ever enough if you don't integrate what you've achieved along the way? When you achieve all those bigger dreams that you have, you're still going to feel empty, you're still going to feel unfulfilled, you're still going to feel unsuccessful. It's important that you build the celebration of wins on the daily.
Every week reflect on your wins and progress overall also, so that you can give yourself a sense of you are growing, you are contributing, you are achieving. Maybe it’s not so much that internal imposter syndrome, but more that you just haven't created the habit of celebrating your wins. As a high performer, this is one of our most treasured strategies-- the incorporation of the integration of wins.
Who can you celebrate your wins with? What daily habits around wins can you create? Will you be writing in a diary? Can you write your wins down on your phone? Will you call a friend and tell them about your wins of the day? Will you sit down with your family, your friends or your housemates and tell them about the wins of the day? Are you going to allow yourself space to connect to one win before you go to sleep? What are your habits around celebrating wins?
When you shift this one habit in your life, you're really going to start noticing that actually, you're a pretty awesome high performer, you've done a lot of cool stuff, and you can start feeling less like an imposter.
Golden Bonus Strategy
Shift Your Identity
As always, I have included my Golden Strategy in this blog article for you.
My golden strategy is… Shift Your Identity.
When you shift your identity, your habits and actions lift up to that identity. For example, if you feel like an imposter in the workplace because you are a manager who doesn’t feel good enough as a manager, I want you to shift your identity.
So instead of, “Okay I need to do these things and do these things”, shift it to “My identity is I am a leader of a group of people. I am a leader of these people. I am a manager. I am the leader. I am the inspiration for these people. I am a person that does these things...”. Create an identity shift.
When you create “I am” statements, it means you lift up your level of responsibility. You lift up your level of determination to be your best self. When you have these identity shifts as a leader, you then think about what qualities you would need as a leader.
For example, as a leader you need to be able to listen. You need to be able to hold space for other people. You need to be able to have conflict management skills, you need to be able to inspire and live through being-- not just doing and not just saying things-- but actually being who you are as a person. You need to have a leadership mindset.
What happens is you begin to gather the evidence, the skills, that all contribute to your identity, but it starts with creating the identity first. You don't just become that leader later when you've achieved certain things. You become the leader now, and then all the things begin to contribute to that leadership title that you've given yourself. Makes sense?
So, create an identity and then your habits, your rituals, your daily life and who you are begin to align to that identity. Plus, you won't be having imposter syndrome anymore if you feel like you are owning who you are. You're owning that title. You're celebrating all your wins daily, and you're having a sense of contribution in all you do.
Woohoo! I trust that you've enjoyed this blog article about how to overcome imposter syndrome.
As always, if there are any topics or any other challenges I can support you with, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'd be happy to support you.
I'm here to serve.
Remember, every day you have a choice:
You can choose to be ordinary, or as Denise Burchard explains “YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE EXTRAORDINARY”.
So, go out there and choose to be EXTRAORDINARY.
Be Brave. Be Vulnerable. Be Kind.
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