How to Achieve Your 2021 Goals - Activating Sustainable Success
7 Minute Read, 4 Steps to Sustainable Success without the Overwhelm
How many times have you started something, only to end up stopping?
How about writing down goals, and then completely forgetting about them?
Ever had epic success for a period of time, and then burnt out?
If you are reading this article, then you are a High Performer.
One of the crucial parts of being a high performer is making sure you set yourself up for LONG-term success.
None of that hustle hustle hustle nonsense.
I don’t want you to hustle towards your dreams and see the rest of your life fall apart, or see you striving towards goals by DOing, doing, doing!
Instead of focusing on who you are BEcoming.
"Excellence is not an act, but a habit" (Aristotle) and your habits shape who you are, in all areas of your life.
If I still have your attention, then well done.
You know you are ready for that next level of extraordinary, and I am ready to guide you there.
Let me take you through my 4 Steps to Sustainable Success Formula.
It is time to activate sustainable success for you in 2021, and beyond!
You really can have it all; your health, your wealth, vibrant relationships and an abundance of joy along the way.
Take out a piece of paper, a pen, and let’s get started!
Identify Unresourceful Habits
Look at your goals for the next year and identify habits that are unresourceful and that will affect your ability to achieve your goals.
If you haven’t created your annual goals yet, no problem.
Reach out to me at jodydontje.com/connect and I am happy to Gift you a 45 Minute Clarity Breakthrough Call to sketch it out.
Then continue with this article.
Okay, so often we set goals at the beginning of the year, start to change, and then feel as though we “fall back” into old habits and stop progressing.
It is time to shift this mindset and pattern from WHAT we are doing to HOW we show up each day and WHO we need to become to achieve sustainable success and progress towards our goals.
This starts with being aware of what habits will no longer serve you if you wish to achieve your new goals in life.
“If we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” – Tony Robbins
An example of an unresourceful habit could be “procrastinating” on important tasks, which leads you to not being present in other activities due to worrying about the task, prolongs the feeling of uncertainty with completing the task, and lowers your overall productivity.
Another unresourceful habit could be “remaining silent” when thinking of a new idea in a meeting or during conversations, instead of sharing your truths and owning your unique perspectives.
It is time to write down all of the habits that will no longer serve you going forth into the New Year.
Categorise Your Unresourceful Habits
Categorise your unresourceful habits to understand them better and why you do them.
No matter how “bad” you believe a habit of yours is, you are gaining some sort of benefit from it.
This is called Secondary Gain.
For example, though you may think you aren’t gaining anything from procrastinating, you are actually gaining a sense of comfort and safety by putting off the uncertain and uncomfortable task. This also applies to not exercising or overeating; you are gaining a sense of comfort.
In order to understand WHY you are doing certain unresourceful habits, it is important to reflect on what category of habit it is.
It is time to look at your list of unresourceful habits, and begin to place them into the 4 different categories below.
4 Categories of Unresourceful Habits (The 4 Ps):
1. PROTECTING: Desire to Protect Ourselves
2. PACIFYING: Pacifying Our Feelings
3. PLACATING: Placating / Pleasing Others
4. PROVING: Proving Ourselves
Category 1: PROTECTING:
Habits that are in the “protecting” category are habits we create to protect ourselves from foreseen or unforseen “threats”.
For example, you may have a habit of holding back from posting on social media because you are “protecting” yourself from being judged.
Or you may hold back from telling a person that you fancy them because you are “protecting” yourself from rejection.
Look at your unresourceful habits and reflect on which you have created in order to protect yourself personally or professionally.
Category 2: Pacifying Our Feelings
Habits that fall into the category of “pacifying”, is a habit that we have created to numb ourselves or avoid feeling certain emotions.
Imagine a baby crying and a mother giving the baby a pacifier (a dummy) to sooth the baby. This is what we can do with habits that pacify our feelings, we try to sooth ourselves.
Though habits that sooth us can be resourceful and a sign of self-care, there can also be habits that are unresourceful and that lead to undesired outcomes.
For example, you may feel uncomfortable with the feeling of uncertainty or fear, so you pacify your feelings by opening that 3rd packet of chips or downing a whole block of chocolate.
Perhaps you try to avoid the emotion of sadness, anger, or guilt, and so you pacify your emotions by drowning yourself into work or numb yourself through alcohol or scrolling endlessly on social media.
It is important to look at your unresourceful habits and ask yourself: “Is this habit resulting in the avoidance or numbing of emotions?”
Category 3: PLACATING / PLEASING:
Habits that fall into the category of “placating” and “pleasing” are habits that you have created in order to keep other people happy, to avoid disappointing others and to avoid making others angry.
Have you ever said “yes” to doing something for someone just to avoid saying “no”? Even though you really didn’t want to do it?
Habits that placate and please are habits that are putting other people’s needs before ours, at the detriment of ourselves.
These habits arise from a fear of saying “no” and can stem from low-self esteem, low-self worth and a feeling of not being good enough.
You may know this as “people pleasing”.
Though this is a common term, the act of pleasing others at the detriment of ourselves can literally kill us.
Perhaps you have a habit of quitting your healthy eating and fitness goals because you feel it is selfish to focus on yourself and you have a habit of focusing on everyone else.
Maybe you really want that project or position, but didn’t want to upset your colleague who also wants this and so you hand it over on a silver platter.
Take a moment to look at your unresourceful habits and note down which have stemmed from the need to placate or please other people.
Category 4: PROVING:
Habits that fall into the category of “proving” are habits that are born from a need to prove ourselves as being worthy or enough.
Have you ever seen a driver on the road, yelling and screaming at another person for cutting them off? They begin racing their car so that they can then cut the driver who cut them off.
Though it might seem like they are trying to educate others about the road rules, deep down, they are really trying to prove that they are worthy of being respected.
“How dare that person cut ME off!”
It is important to know which habits we have created that have grown from the ego, and from a deeper space of Imposter Syndrome.
Perhaps you work yourself to the bone because you don’t feel good enough and are trying to prove your worth to the world.
Perhaps you are trying too hard to prove YOUR worth while dating, when you really could be sitting back and reflecting on if THEY are aligned to your values and are a right match for you.
Take a moment to look at your unresourceful habits that be aware of which are from a space of trying to “prove” your worth or that you are “right”.
While you progress through this process of categorising your unresourceful habits, allow yourself to FEEL into your truths, even if they are uncomfortable to admit and accept.
This process will already shift your mindset and your ability to alter these unresourceful habits into new and more empowering habits.
Rehearse Replacement Scenarios
Now that you have your unresourceful habits listed down, and neatly categorised into the 4 Ps of Unresourceful Habits, it is time to think of alternatives.
Rehearse mentally different scenarios that can replace the un-resourceful habits (rehearse overcoming your unresourceful habits by imagining resourceful and empowering alternatives).
With anything, it takes practise to feel fully confident with new experiences and actions. This includes new habits.
Therefore, it is important to ease your way into building new empowering habits by imagining scenarios where you would usually action an unresourceful habit, and visualise alternative actions and outcomes.
For example, you may find yourself over eating sugary snacks when feeling anxious or stressed.
Imagine past experiences where you felt anxious or stressed (such as before a presentation), and imagine that instead of opening that chocolate / lolly jar, you grabbed your runners and went out for a walk in nature instead.
Or imagine that you opened your journal and wrote down all of the reasons you feel anxious and stressed, to release the tension resourcefully, instead of filling yourself up with sugar.
When we mentally rehearse alternative past scenarios, not only are we more likely to choose more empowering options when similar scenarios happen in the future, but we are also reminded that we always have a CHOICE.
Our awareness of what choices we have is crucial.
Then, once we start choosing the more empowering options in real, we start to gain positive payoffs and this fuels our dedication to change.
It is time to sit down somewhere quiet, and allow yourself space to visualise past & future scenarios where you choose empowerment.
Create Your “Success Habits” Action Plan
Create an Action Plan of Success around which habit(s) you are going to focus on in the month ahead.
In order to truly concrete a new empowering habit, it takes time.
Take a moment to look at your Yearly Goals and break down which goals you wish to achieve in the next 90 Days.
Then, break the 90 Days into 30 Day blocks and reflect on which habits you will need to sustainably build to achieve your 90 Day Goals.
Take it one month at a time, and don’t overcommit with trying to change every one of your unresourceful habits all at once.
Divide the empowering habits that you wish to cultivate into quarter yearly chunks, and then focus on each 30 Days ahead.
In order to create habits that stick, there are 3 main categories. While you create these new habits and your Action Plan, think about what type of habit it is.
3 Types of Habits:
1. Hook Habits (hook a new habit onto an existing habit)
2. Transition Habits (habits that help you transition throughout the day)
3. Trigger Habits (habits that are triggered by an action, experience, etc.)
While you begin this quest of creating new and empowering habits, it is important to note that implementing these habits isn’t about perfection, quite the opposite.
It is important to celebrate your wins AND allow yourself space to accept that you will still have moments when you choose a less resourceful habit. This WILL happen.
I am here to share with you that it is okay. It is actually completely normal! Expect it, accept it, and keep progressing forward.
It is time to create your plan of what new and empowering habits you are committing to develop, to make this year extraordinary :)
Be Brave. Be Vulnerable. Be Kind.
Global Public Speaking and Emotional Fitness Coach. Tedx Talk Speaker. Humanitarian.