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How to Have More Energy - Pro Strategies for High Performing Speakers & Leaders  “How do you have so much energy all of the time?” I have been asked this question countless times in my coaching sessions, during events and from members in my community. This is actually a really important question. Your energy is one of the most important assets you have. 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀: ✨ Your relationships ✨ Your productivity ✨ Your wellbeing ✨ Your ability to focus ✨ Your career progress ✨ And your overall success in life. Your energy is everything. Without energy, it is hard to enjoy everyday life as well as create the results of your desired future. Take a moment to ask yourself, what would more energy bring me in my life? With the stakes being so high, I thought to write this article for you. Enjoy my 3 Pro Strategies on how to have more energy, plus a Golden Bonus Strategy at the end. PRO STRATEGY #1 Connect to Your Why What keeps me going throughout the ups and downs? What helps wake me up in the mornings? Staying connected to my ‘why’. It gets me up, it gets me energised, and it gets me ready for the day! So ask yourself: “Why is today going to be a special day? Why is today going to help me get closer to my bigger dream? Why is today going to be the day that I lean into gratitude with my relationships? Why is today going to lead to a better outcome for tomorrow? Why is today going to be a valuable day?” Keep connecting to your whys. What are your long-term whys? Your mid-term whys? What are your short-term whys? Are you ensuring they are all connected? Maybe your whys include your children, your clients, your colleagues, your life mission, travel, your big goals of that dream house and that dream lifestyle; what lights you up? I know the energy will flow if I wake up and I go -- “Today, I'm going to contribute, I'm going to make a difference, I'm going to help more of my high performing leaders and speakers to become confident and to overcome their challenges. Today I am going to build my impact and become another step closer to my future vision.” When I connect to a greater why like that, I realise that NOTHING can get in my way. Because I'm going to contribute. I'm going to make a difference. So ask yourself, what are your whys for today It could be anything. Whatever your whys are, make it a reason to have energy for your day. PRO STRATEGY #2 Breathe Deep When you connect to your breath, you not only activate more energy, but you also gain a greater sense of power within yourself. As Brendon Burchard explains, “The power plant doesn't have energy, it generates energy.” A way to tap into this power plant of energy is through breathing deeply. You can do different breathing styles and exercises. For example, if you want to have more of a sense of relaxation, to help your body go into a rest and digest state, you can do four step box breathing: four seconds breathing in, four seconds holding your breath, 4 seconds slowly breathing out and four seconds holding. Take deep breaths through your nose, breath deep into your diaphragm, underneath your rib cage. Breath deep and controlled. If you really want to hit your body with energy fast, you can breathe very fast, through your nose and out your mouth, such as Wim Hof’s Fire Breathing technique. You’ll definitely feel more energy by doing that! So, when you’re feeling like there's a lack of energy, maybe it's because your breaths are shallow and irregular. You're not taking deep enough breaths and you're breathing more from your neck than deep from your diaphragm. When you breathe deep your body lights up and feels that the oxygen is expanding through your bloodstream. I know it works for me and the countless high performing speakers and leaders that I've helped globally. So, make sure you're aware of your breath and look into different breathing techniques that work for you to tap into that power plant of energy. PRO STRATEGY #3 Have Transition Habits Transition habits are the habits in-between activities when you are transitioning from one part of your day to another or transitioning in-between your chunks and blocks of productivity throughout your day. If you find yourself exhausted often, it could be because you aren’t taking enough breaks throughout your day, and the tension and tiredness has built up and built up. As you might have seen in a previous video and article of mine, 50 minutes is the maximum time that high performance research has shown you can be effectively productive. After 50 minutes, it’s important to take even a 30 second break. Amazingly, taking more breaks actually increases your productivity! For some of you, instead of 50-minute chunks, having 20-minute chunks, 30-minute chunks or even 15-minute chunks of productivity before you take a little break can be immensely effective. Transition habits are also how you transition from home into work, from this project into that project, from lunch to work, from that project to dinner, and so on. So, create habits around how you transition from one important part of your day to another. During your transition habit breaks, you can do anything that serves you. For example, linking back to my previous pro strategy, during my transition habits I like to breathe deep and physically release tension. I set an intention about how I want to show up in the next part of my day or with those people that I love. I release tension and set intention. Not only do I take time to breathe, some days, I just feel like walking around. I'll walk and I'll stretch, or I’ll put on a song, and I'll move my body and dance. Sometimes during my mini breaks, I will just take a moment to refill my water bottle, or to get something healthy to snack on. I want you to be aware of a “salad bar” / toolkit of different transition habits that you can create during your breaks to refuel you and realign you. Because the fact is, if you're exhausted by the end of the day, it's probably because you didn't check in with your body and release tension throughout the day. When you don’t take enough breaks, that indeed is exhausting. So, let’s create more of a balance for you by having more breaks. You are then going to have a lot more energy to actually be more productive throughout and at the end of the day, and that’s a win for everyone. Golden Bonus Strategy Have Cold Immersion Experiences This may sound random, but try experimenting with something cold. You might want to have a cold shower in the morning or go for a dip in the ocean when it's cold. Wake your body up with cryotherapy, an ice bath, and a cold rush of energy. Cold water has a phenomenal number of benefits, including reducing inflammation, helping with sleep, increasing circulation, supporting mental wellbeing, improving weight loss, and, you guessed it, increasing energy! Now that I've been able to bring more cold into my life, I feel more awake in the mornings. I feel like I have more energy overall. You can reap the benefits of cold water as well. You will be surprised how much these little things can make a big difference for your energy, and it can be a fun experience to play with. Like my partner Melvin (the Founder of Cold Water Vikings) likes to say, “Embrace Discomfort”. When you can embrace the discomfort of the cold, you can mentally embrace more throughout your days. Woohoo! I trust that this blog article has added value to you. Make sure that you like and comment below if you resonate or have any questions, and share this article with anyone you feel is going to benefit from this. As always, if there are any topics or any other challenges I can support you with, simply message me at www.jodydontje.com/connect. I'd be happy to support you. I'm here to serve. Remember, every day you have a choice: You can choose to be ordinary, or as Denise Burchard explains “YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE EXTRAORDINARY”. So, go out there and choose to be EXTRAORDINARY. Be Brave. Be Vulnerable. Be Kind. With kindness,  
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How to Be More Likeable - Must Have Communication & Connection Strategies  Have you ever wondered why some people are just like magnets and everyone just wants to be around them? Would you also like to learn the secrets to being more likeable? As a leader, a speaker and as a high performer, one of your cornerstones for success and fulfilment is to be more likeable, to inspire others to want to be around you, want to learn from you, or even want to buy from you. When people are inspired by you, are drawn to you, feel safe around you and genuinely enjoy being around you, you gain opportunities for deeper connection and have more of a positive influence on others. This doesn't mean, of course, that you should obsess with being liked by everyone, or that you should give your self-worth and power away to other people. However, it does mean that you get to enjoy life a whole lot more personally and professionally. The truth is, deep down, we all want to be someone that people like to be around. So, how can you be more likeable in everyday life and business? I invite you to read this blog article for my Top Three Pro Tips on how to be more likeable and read through the end for my Golden Strategy. PRO TIP #1 Hold Space Holding space is when you allow yourself to be - silent. Holding space is when you look into the direction of the other person and let them know that you're fully present with them and fully there for them as they share or as they sit silently feeling what they're feeling. Holding space is one of your superpowers as a speaker, leader, and high performer. Holding space is where people feel like you fully see them, you are fully there for them, and you're fully able to listen to them. Being able to hear people out, being able to really hear them so they feel like they are being acknowledged, is one of the most incredible experiences for a human being. When we feel safe, when we feel heard, we are going to instantly like the other person a lot more. So for you to be more likeable, it's important to not only have interesting and inspiring things to say, but to genuinely be able to be quiet, hold space, and hear other people out. So next time your friend is going through something emotional, next time a colleague is opening up to you, next time one of your clients, one of your prospect clients or one of the attendees at your event are beginning to open up, I don't want you to make an instant comment or to make it about you. I don't want you to instantly give feedback or give advice straight away. Just hold space. Hear them out. Validate them. Be present. Ensure them that you're fully, truly listening to them. Furthermore, if someone is feeling an emotion, don't try to change their emotion. Sit with them as they feel their emotion. If someone feels emotionally safe around you, chances are they're going to like you a lot more. So Pro Tip number 1 is tap into your superpower of holding space. PRO TIP #2 Compliment & Validate Give compliments and validate others whenever you can. You may have heard this before, and that’s because it is important. When you compliment other people, when they feel more accepted and liked by you, they are going to like you more in return. Praising, complimenting, and validating others is honestly one of the most important things you can do as a human being. Truly complimenting is not just a surface level recognition either, such as mentioning their clothes, something they're wearing, or how they have their hair styled, it is when you compliment their character, inner qualities, and personality. If they're sharing something vulnerable, validate and compliment that they are leaning into courage, for example. Compliment and validate that they're leaning into an internal characteristic, quality, or personality trait. Tell them you think they're very intelligent, or that you're really inspired by their personal story. Go deeper than the surface level compliments where you can, and you will realize you're going to be a lot more likeable by other people. People are going to feel like you like them, like you accept them. They're going to feel good around you, and when other people feel good and safe around you, well, they're going to want to keep coming back for more whether it's in life or business. So make sure that you compliment, you validate, and you allow other people to feel like they are special. That is one of your other superpowers. PRO TIP #3 Be Curious Curiosity is one of the qualities that we are born with. When we come out of our mother's womb, we're looking around, we're curious, we want to learn, we want to soak in all the information around us. Then, somewhere along the line as we grow up, we get this thing called 'Terminal Seriousness' where we begin to shut down, shut off, and we don't always activate full genuine, playful and present curiosity. So for people to like you more, you need to like other people more; you need to be more curious about them. Literally lean in when they're speaking to you. Ask them follow up questions, not robotically because it's the right thing to do (because they'll feel that), but ask questions because you're genuinely curious. Open your eyes and make facial expressions that show that you're really interested as they're sharing their story. Make sure that you are once again holding space for them, validating and complimenting them, and then be curious enough to learn more. Ask more questions and really hear them out. If someone is sharing about their holiday, ask them what their favourite thing about the holiday was. What did they love the most? Ask them questions that are deeper and not just surface level. What did they learn about themselves during that holiday? How special was it for them? How was it compared to previous holidays? If you ask deeper questions, people will begin to allow their true colours to be seen. When people feel they can be open with you, they're generally going to like you more as well. Being curious is making sure that you learn people's name quickly as well, even if it's the person you haven't really spoken to much at work. Learn their name and say hi to them as you walk past their desk. Just learning someone's name and recognising their existence is being able to acknowledge that they are someone who has an identity that you value, and this makes you instantly more likeable. So, be curious enough to learn their names. Ask more questions. Lean in. Show that you are genuinely interested. Keep eye contact. Be curious, and people are going to like you a lot more. Golden Bonus Strategy Emotionality vs Logic Often, people just want to be heard on an emotional level, not responded to on a logical level. For example, if someone is opening up to you about work, and that they feel like they never get enough done and that their work colleagues don't seem to appreciate them, don’t go straight in with advice. For example, don’t say "It sounds like you have a bit of a time management issue here. You know, I had a bit of a time management issue when I started my first job, here are my tips on how to have time management." This is basically hitting a person in the face with unwanted advice. When people are opening up to you about a challenge, they don't necessarily need advice instantly. Our better B scenario would be saying something like, "It sounds as though you feeling like you're not being appreciated at work. That sounds really tough. Tell me more." With this alternative response, you are able to get onto their emotional level and validate that what they're feeling is okay to feel. When you validate a person’s emotion, they're going to feel a lot safer around you. Plus, if they want your advice, they'll ask. So, instead of going into instant logic, fixer, and helper mode, go into the emotionality lens of validating their emotion, holding space for their emotion, being able to be curious about their emotion that they're feeling, and allow them to feel safe around you emotionally. If you do that, they're going to feel a lot more open to be around you. They will be a lot more inspired to be close to you, whether that's in life or business. So, make sure you lean into emotionality versus logic more often. Woohoo! I trust that this blog article has added value to you. Make sure that you like and comment below if you resonate or have any questions, and share this article with anyone you feel is going to benefit from this. As always, if there are any topics or any other challenges I can support you with, simply message me at www.jodydontje.com/connect. I'd be happy to support you. I'm here to serve. Remember, every day you have a choice: You can choose to be ordinary, or as Denise Burchard explains “YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE EXTRAORDINARY”. So, go out there and choose to be EXTRAORDINARY. Be Brave. Be Vulnerable. Be Kind. With kindness,  Achieve More in 2021 - Must Have Strategies to Overcome Procrastination  Have you ever found yourself procrastinating? Have you ever put off your goals and your dreams and not been as productive as you could be? Maybe you are taking action but it doesn’t feel like it's congruent with who you are. I would like to take a moment to share with you, in this blog article, 3 Big Takeaways from an epic session I had with one of my speaker and leader members. These takeaways are the core ingredients helped my member to instantly breakthrough, realign and sky-rocket their productivity. These big takeaways and strategies are going to give you way more focus, success and achievement this year. So, let's unpack. TAKEAWAY #1 Clarity Imagine driving a car towards a destination that you don't know how to get to. Imagine wanting to get there fast, but you are worried of taking the wrong turn, resulting in more money spent, more time wasted and more energy lost. It would be really challenging to continue on this journey, right? It's the same thing with your dreams, your goals. If you don't have a clear pathway, a roadmap from someone who has travelled the journey, it will be very challenging to keep trucking forward at a high speed. If, for example, you aren't clear about your business mission and positioning statement, if you’re not clear about exactly what you offer your customers, if you aren't clear about what you're creating and wanting to put into this world, then, of course, you're going to procrastinate, not take consistent action, and not be as productive as you could be. So, sit down. Have a clarity session with a coach or anybody in your network who has the results you want or that you can simply brainstorm with. If you need the roadmap to becoming a confident, purposeful and inspiring speaker and leader, for example, I'd be happy to help you gain this clarity so you can gain results and success fast. Often, it comes through having a conversation with someone; or through writing it down to get it out, saying it, understanding it verbally, and gaining feedback, that leads to greater clarity. Interact with others to help you better understand your way forward. So, make sure that you keep seeking clarity as you grow. Stop procrastinating, and gain clarity. TAKEAWAY #2 Inspiration As Simon Sinek explains, "start with why!" Connect with something that inspires you, something that lights you up, something that fills you with energy and passion. Referring back to clarity, there are times that inspiration comes first before gaining greater clarity, and times that through clarity inspiration grows. Throughout more of what you do, I invite you to tap into a feeling of inspiration. If you're starting a business, for example, selling products that you love is a key ingredient to ensuring greater sustainable success in your business. Your why, your vision; that deeper reason that lights you up and gets you out of bed is important to tap into. In my case, I'm very passionate about helping people become emotionally intimate and emotionally fit leaders who communicate successfully and confidently. That's really something that lights me up! So, sit down and think about what you're passionate about. If you want to have a resource to support you with this, I'm happy to gift it to you for free! Click this link www.jodydontje.com/connect and ask for my 50 Questions for Finding Your Passion resource. This will help you to become clear about what you want, what you like, what you don't like, and what really gives you excitement. Let’s make sure you are excited about something! TAKEAWAY #3 Organisation It’s time to get more organised! This may not be your favourite takeaway and ingredient for productivity at first, however, you will actually learn to love this as it brings results and more free time into your life. One of the ways to get more organised is to simply write down at least three goals for the day that will bring you closer to your dreams. Life is not about “busy” work, it’s about your life’s work. Know also that when you get your "clarity" clearer and you activate your “inspiration” as fuel within you, your "organisation" is just going to increase, in general. You will want to get more organised to get more done because your clear pathway forward excites and energises you. Did you know that if you spend 30 minutes a day toward your dream, you have gained one whole working month by the end of the year? That’s twenty-eight days of eight hours a day working towards your mission, your dream, that passion of yours, that business, that family, that life you want to build! Does that deserve a whole amazing month of the year at least? Absolutely! Be clear about what you would want to achieve in 12 months, 6 months and break this down into monthly goals, then spend at least 30 minutes a day towards this. Achieve at least 30 minutes a day and that's going to give you one whole working month towards that dream in the year. So, be more organised. Take it seriously and also be playful. Plan ahead and create habits that set up your days to be more productive for success. Celebrate your wins personally and with other people as well to build sustainable momentum. Tapping into joy and celebration as your organisation grows gets you sustainable results and will help you achieve more of what you want. So, get organised and celebrate yourself more often. Woohoo! I'm going to leave you with clarity, inspiration and organisation, so that you enjoy a way more successful, sustainable and fulfilled rest of the year ahead! As always, if there are any topics or any other challenges I can support you with, simply message me at www.jodydontje.com/connect. I'd be happy to support you. I'm here to serve. Remember, every day you have a choice: You can choose to be ordinary, or as Denise Burchard explains “YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE EXTRAORDINARY”. So, go out there and choose to be EXTRAORDINARY. Be Brave. Be Vulnerable. Be Kind. With kindness,  How to Avoid Burnout as a High Performer - Must Have Pro Strategies  Have you ever hit a wall as a high performer? Have you ever felt absolutely exhausted? We have all been there! I feel you. Whether you hit a wall physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally, you don't want burnout to be a normal and recurring challenge for you. Burnout affects your wellbeing, joy, productivity, focus and can even lead to you being physically sick. I don’t want that for you. So, how can you avoid burnout? Here are my Top 3 Pro Tips, plus a Bonus Golden Strategy at the end, which have skyrocketed results for my high performing leader and speaker members from all around the world. Let’s dive in and learn how to avoid burnout. PRO TIP #1 Release Tension. Set Intention. So often, when you reach burnout, it's because you haven't released the tension along the journey. The days build into weeks; the weeks build into months, and all of a sudden --- boom! You hit a wall! Releasing tension and setting an intention is a powerful daily practice. It helps you manage your energy and feelings so that you don't feel like you're getting burnout at the end of the day. How is it done? It's where every 50 minutes (or so), you take a short break from whatever you are doing. For some, every 15, 20 or 30 minutes of productivity before taking a short break is going to work best, however ensure it is a maximum of 50 minute productivity chunks. High Performance research has found that if you take a break every 50 minutes, even if it is a 30-second break, it will lead to you being more productive, focused and thus avoiding burnout in the long-run. So, I invite you to take the time to walk away from your laptop screens, from your work, your office, your space, and walk around! Stretch your body. Close your eyes. Take some deep breaths in, perhaps do some box-breathing. Take time to release tension and then mentally set your intention for the next productivity chunk of your day. Think to yourself, "How do I want the rest of my day to look like?" or, "How do I want this next 50-minute block to look like? Directly after I have this 30-second break or this one-minute break, what do I want the next part of my day to look like? How do I want to show up? How do I want to feel?" When you release the tension from each part of the day, you're more likely to feel energized, more engaged, and you're not going to hit that wall. So, release tension, set intention! PRO TIP #2 Develop Emotional Fitness & Emotional Intimacy Skills. Emotional intimacy skills have many different facets. One part of having emotional fitness is being able to feel into and be okay with any emotion that comes up for you. Emotions are sometimes labeled as either “good” emotions or “bad” emotions. But, the truth is, there are no good or bad emotions. There are only resourceful and unresourceful ways reacting to emotions. Every emotion has its value as a human being. Being able to close your eyes and say, "Okay, I just had a really stressful meeting. What am I feeling? I'm feeling anger. I'm feeling sadness. Where am I feeling it? I'm feeling it in my chest. I'm feeling it in my neck. I feel it in my stomach." Go through and name where you are feeling the sensations, where you are feeling the feelings, and where you are feeling the core emotions. Then, instead of blaming that emotion on someone else, own that it is your emotion. You're feeling it. Own it. Then allow yourself to feel it fully. When you fully feel the emotion, you complete an emotional cycle, and it is released. Instead of, "I feel frustrated. I feel angry. No, I don't like anger. I don't like frustration. I'm gonna push this down. I don’t want to feel this; I'm all good. I'm all good." But then, later down the track --- boom! All of a sudden, you have a massive burnout and you have an emotional overload, and you're just crying and breaking down. It's because you didn't give yourself the time to be emotionally intimate along the journey when things happened, when you started feeling emotions in the moment. So, emotional intimacy and fitness skills will allow you to feel, release and therefore avoid the big explosive burnout. PRO TIP #3 Create Celebrations & Be-Time! Allow yourself space to celebrate your journey. It is important that you allow yourself space to feel the celebration of your growth and wins along the way. Remember that we're not "human-doings"; we are human-beings. So, instead of "doing, doing, doing," give yourself time to stop and celebrate. Celebrate with friends. Celebrate with your partner. Celebrate on your own. Journal. Dance. Move your body to celebrate! I'm always dancing to celebrate my leader and speaker members, and myself. Plus, give yourself time to just be! Time to just sit down and listen to music. Time to just sit down and sit with yourself. Mindfully enjoy that cup of tea without feeling like you need to check your phone at the same time. Mindfully be able to enjoy the sunshine without needing to be with other people necessarily or needing to be doing work. Take the time to just be in the moment. The more you practice simply being present, the more you are going to be able to feel a sense of relief, a sense of peace. Your baseline becomes calm instead of anxiousness, and you are not going to face burnout as often, or maybe even ever. So give yourself time to celebrate along the journey and create be-time. Golden Bonus Strategy Activate the 3, 2 1 Rule Common sense is not always common practice. So, you might know that sleep is important to be prioritized. But, are you really prioritizing it? Are you sure that your REM and deep sleep are enough? Incorporate Brendon Burchard's 'Three, Two, One Rule" and prioritize sleep! 'Three, Two, One' means three hours before bed, no food; two hours before bed, no work, and; one hour before bed, no phone, reactivity or replying to messages. Give yourself that rule and everything will shift. If it's not three hours, just make it 20 minutes each. This means, 1 hour before bed no food, 40 minutes before bed no work and 20 minutes before bed no phone. Then increase it from there. After you do this, you will likely increase your deep sleep and REM sleep, which has an immense amount of benefits for your emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. Cleanse your neurons so that you feel more focused and emotionally available during the day. Prioritize your sleep! Look into other ways also to make your sleep even better. Have something to record your sleep, such as a Fitbit, wear blue light blocking glasses at night or have anti-blue light lightbulbs. When you prioritise your sleep, you are going to be well on your way to avoiding burnout. Woohoo! I trust that these three tips and my golden strategy have supported you. Make sure you know that burnout is a choice. That's hard to accept, but burnout is a choice, and you don't have to choose it anymore! So as a high performer, remember if I can support you with any content, videos, or if you have any challenges that I can give you the solution for, simply email me at [email protected]. I'd be happy to support you. I'm here to serve. Plus if you love this blog article, like it, share it and comment below: What are your strategies to avoid burnout? Every day you have a choice: You can choose to be ordinary, or as Denise Burchard explains “YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE EXTRAORDINARY”. So, go out there and choose to be EXTRAORDINARY. Be Brave. Be Vulnerable. Be Kind. With kindness,   Overcome Imposter Syndrome as a Speaker & Leader - Must Have Success Strategies  Do you struggle with imposter syndrome? Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough in a job or in your personal relations? Maybe you've just levelled up in your business or in your personal life, maybe you started dating, or maybe you are taking your career to the next level and… ... you're feeling like You’re Not Enough! Imposter syndrome is feeling that you're not good enough. It is that feeling of ‘if people were to discover my “truth”, they'll realise that I’m not all that I say I am, I’m not enough.” It’s that feeling that you are an imposter in your role, in your body or just in who you are. This is really difficult to face everyday, and I have definitely been there. I want you to know that imposter syndrome is very common. You are not alone. It is something that we have all faced at some point in our life, and therefore, YOU CAN OVERCOME IT! So, how do we overcome this feeling and these thoughts? Here are my Top 3 Pro Tips and read until the end for my Golden Strategy. PRO TIP #1 Know Your Values Tip number one on how to overcome imposter syndrome is... Know Your Values. As Katie Perry explains, “If you don't stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.” The fact is, it's really difficult for you to feel confident in yourself, knowing that you are enough, if you don't know what you stand for. Values aren't just things that you know. Values aren't just things that you do. Values are things that you feel. So, if you value, let's say “adventure”. You might do more adventurous things and so you know you value adventure, but at the end of the day, you actually value the feeling of adrenaline, the feeling of excitement, the love of variety. So, I invite you to get really clear on your values. What do you stand for? What are the feelings you would want to feel? What are the benchmarks you have for yourself in your communication with other people, for example. Over the years, I’ve created what I call my Four Cornerstones of Value Success, and I want to share one of my cornerstones with you right now to give you more context about what values are. So, I call this cornerstone value “Interaction Values”. If you're interacting with another person, whether it's business or personal, ask yourself... How do I want to feel when I interact? How do I want them to feel when I interact with them? How do I want to show up? What are my ‘benchmarks for being’ in this interaction? If you don't have these, it's very easy to fall below your potential every single day. You need to have clear values that you connect to on the daily. For example, a clear interaction value could be engaged. When you're having a conversation, you always want to be present. You always want to keep general eye contact and look in their direction as you listen. You always want to be engaged in keeping rapport, truly being there with them. Those can be some of your benchmarks. When you fall under those benchmarks, you will realize you weren't living in alignment. That is what's going to build your feeling that you are enough. The feeling that you don't have imposter syndrome because if you know how to show up every day in conversation, you know that you are enough. You are trying your best to be as engaged as you can be and even if you aren’t doing that “perfectly” every day, you know what you stand for. Other interaction values could be positive. It could be inspiring. It could be focused. It could be integrity. It could be trust. It could be anything else that you choose. So, take some time to think about what your three interaction values are. How do you want to feel? What are your benchmarks for conversation. Three separate words, this is the magic number Reflect on other areas of your life and how you can live into your values also. If you want more support about this, you're welcome to reach out to me at www.jodydontje.com/connect. So yes, that’s my pro tip #1, Know Your Values. Know what you stand for and imposter syndrome won't take over as much. PRO TIP #2 Have a Contribution Mindset My Pro Tip number two is to make sure that you have what I call a ‘Contribution Mindset’. Now, you might have heard this from me before, but I want to reinforce it again. It's really difficult to feel like you're an imposter if you're genuinely giving. If you're genuinely making a difference. If you're genuinely showing up with the best intentions to help other people, with healthy boundaries of course. When you have a contribution mindset, this means every single day you realize you're valuable because you are willing to contribute and make a difference. You can build that feeling that you are enough through witnessing yourself giving and contributing. Whether it’s in your business, in your workplace, in your relationships, or just in general, how are you contributing and really making that difference? When you shift your mindset from “Me, me, me!”, “Am I enough?” and “I have imposter syndrome”, into “How can I serve today? How can I give today? How can I add value today? How can I make a difference today?”. That shift is really going to build more belief in yourself and of your value. Years ago, I was drenched in self-conscious tendencies, I was drenched in low self-esteem. It was through volunteering in many organisations, starting my own non-profit platform, and helping charities in Nepal to make a difference that I truly realised I have value to give. It was through contribution that I realised, “Actually, I do have some value in this world.” Since then, I have now been able to develop a deep sense of “I'm enough”, even if I'm not giving, just me myself, I'm enough. Sometimes it first starts with being able to contribute and see our value of giving until we can fully internalise that we're enough just as we are. You are enough! PRO TIP #3 Celebrate Your Wins My Pro Tip number three is to make sure that you celebrate your wins. You are a high performer. I support high performers like you from all around the world to level up with their confidence in speaking and being a leader. This includes overcoming imposter syndrome. In order for you to overcome imposter syndrome as a leader and speaker, you need to be able to create space for yourself to stop, re-evaluate how you've been progressing, and celebrate your wins! Celebrate every single day. Celebrate your wins with others and feel your wins. How are you going to feel like you're ever enough if you don't integrate what you've achieved along the way? When you achieve all those bigger dreams that you have, you're still going to feel empty, you're still going to feel unfulfilled, you're still going to feel unsuccessful. It's important that you build the celebration of wins on the daily. Every week reflect on your wins and progress overall also, so that you can give yourself a sense of you are growing, you are contributing, you are achieving. Maybe it’s not so much that internal imposter syndrome, but more that you just haven't created the habit of celebrating your wins. As a high performer, this is one of our most treasured strategies-- the incorporation of the integration of wins. Who can you celebrate your wins with? What daily habits around wins can you create? Will you be writing in a diary? Can you write your wins down on your phone? Will you call a friend and tell them about your wins of the day? Will you sit down with your family, your friends or your housemates and tell them about the wins of the day? Are you going to allow yourself space to connect to one win before you go to sleep? What are your habits around celebrating wins? When you shift this one habit in your life, you're really going to start noticing that actually, you're a pretty awesome high performer, you've done a lot of cool stuff, and you can start feeling less like an imposter. Golden Bonus Strategy Shift Your Identity As always, I have included my Golden Strategy in this blog article for you. My golden strategy is… Shift Your Identity. When you shift your identity, your habits and actions lift up to that identity. For example, if you feel like an imposter in the workplace because you are a manager who doesn’t feel good enough as a manager, I want you to shift your identity. So instead of, “Okay I need to do these things and do these things”, shift it to “My identity is I am a leader of a group of people. I am a leader of these people. I am a manager. I am the leader. I am the inspiration for these people. I am a person that does these things...”. Create an identity shift. When you create “I am” statements, it means you lift up your level of responsibility. You lift up your level of determination to be your best self. When you have these identity shifts as a leader, you then think about what qualities you would need as a leader. For example, as a leader you need to be able to listen. You need to be able to hold space for other people. You need to be able to have conflict management skills, you need to be able to inspire and live through being-- not just doing and not just saying things-- but actually being who you are as a person. You need to have a leadership mindset. What happens is you begin to gather the evidence, the skills, that all contribute to your identity, but it starts with creating the identity first. You don't just become that leader later when you've achieved certain things. You become the leader now, and then all the things begin to contribute to that leadership title that you've given yourself. Makes sense? So, create an identity and then your habits, your rituals, your daily life and who you are begin to align to that identity. Plus, you won't be having imposter syndrome anymore if you feel like you are owning who you are. You're owning that title. You're celebrating all your wins daily, and you're having a sense of contribution in all you do. Woohoo! I trust that you've enjoyed this blog article about how to overcome imposter syndrome. As always, if there are any topics or any other challenges I can support you with, email me at [email protected]. I'd be happy to support you. I'm here to serve. Remember, every day you have a choice: You can choose to be ordinary, or as Denise Burchard explains “YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE EXTRAORDINARY”. So, go out there and choose to be EXTRAORDINARY. Be Brave. Be Vulnerable. Be Kind. With kindness,  |
Jody DontjeGlobal Public Speaking and Emotional Fitness Coach. Tedx Talk Speaker. Humanitarian. Archives
September 2021
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